Embracing + Challenging the Imposter Syndrome within!
Ever feel like you are an imposter? Ever feel like you are a fraud, pretending to be someone or something you are not? I think in New Zealand, many of us suffer from imposter syndrome, especially high achieving business owners - so let’s talk about it and embrace where we are at!
Dr. Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome, has identified five types of “impostors.”
1. The expert. The expert will feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied, until they are an absolute expert on a specific subject or task. The benefit of being an ‘expert’ type, is that the individual will likely to continue to strive to do better, be better, and have a strong need for personal growth. The downside of this imposter, is that it can make tasks time-consuming, inefficient or incomplete. The ‘expert’ will have trouble finishing a task or project. They may never feel like it is complete.
2. The perfectionist. The perfectionist’s often set themselves extreme goals, which they are unable to achieve. With the ‘perfectionist’, they will likely take a ‘cup is half empty’ approach, and focus on what hasn’t happened well, rather than celebrating what has gone well.
3. Natural geniuses. Natural geniuses, or people with particularly high IQ’s, have often learnt new skills and tasks quickly all throughout their lives. Their need to face challenges has usually been less than the average person, and they may have not had the opportunity to build resilience when faced with tough times. Natural geniuses take it harder than most when they are unable to learn or complete a new skill and might often feel ashamed or weak.
4. The soloist. The soloists prefer to work individually, and fear asking for help, or using a support network. They fear that asking for help will prove their incompetence and may turn down help to try and prove their self-worth.
5. The superheroes. The superheroes are the workaholics. They feel they have to prove their hard work and may celebrate how ‘busy’ they are. The superhero’s put pressure on themselves, to go above and beyond, and while to a degree this is a great work ethic, to become so extreme can be detrimental to their mental and physical wellbeing.
Do these resonate with you? They sure resonate, at times, with me.
So, what can we do about these feelings?
1. Recognise these thoughts. Awareness is surely the first step in changing our thought process.
2. Talk about it with a frined. Talking with a friend, family member or trusted advisor can be helpful. By talking to someone independent, it can help you identify the difference between perception and reality.
3. Record it. Keep a record of your wins or success and make time to celebrate these!
4. Talk about it with a professional. If it’s really affecting your life, talk to a mental health professional.
Let’s lift each other up and accept each other for where we are at. And most importantly, let’s celebrate those wins!!